Thursday, March 17, 2011

Thankful and Unafraid

Three years ago I was in the hospital, in ICU. One Thursday afternoon, with a rare March snow on the ground, I was feeling fine and preparing to go shopping with my daughter in law to our usual twice yearly children's consignment sale. I'm a stubborn sort. My husband said it was too icy to drive to Fort Worth but I just knew the highways were melting. When I got on the main roads, I discovered that he was right. I called my DIL to tell her I wouldn't be coming, headed to get some food at Chick-Fil-A and went home. We ate as we watched the early evening news and I started feeling chilly. I got in the bed to get warm and got up much later, still feeling bad. By 3 a.m. the next morning, I was coughing up blood. I didn't wake anyone, but waited to call my daughter across the street when I knew she would be up getting her little girl ready for school.

I was so ill, she had a hard time getting me dressed and to the hospital. My hubby is disabled so I knew he couldn't take me.

I went from feeling completely fine one afternoon to being deathly ill the next morning. Doctors said I had septic shock, and my major organs were shutting down one by one. They didn't know the source of the infection, but it was later attributed to pneumonia in my left lung. After a long hospital stay I went home to begin therapy, as I was left rather weak. In fact, I have never fully recovered from the illness that nearly took my life. My heart and lungs were damaged by the infection. One doctor said if my daughter had gotten me there a few minutes later, it might have been too late. That would have been my fault, certainly not hers.

What does this have to do with Meredith's story? I am definitely thankful to be alive, to be able to enjoy my family and God's world. While I was so ill, I discovered that I was definitely not afraid to die. In fact, I wondered if I would be seeing Meredith soon. I didn't want to leave my family alone - I wanted to be around to be with them for many years, and still do.

Before, I never had a doubt that there is a God, Jesus, and Heaven. Being so ill reinforced those beliefs. I'm extremely grateful for parents who brought me up to believe in the Lord. I'm thankful to be alive, and thankful to have assurance of Heaven.

"We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:18