* If you would like a personalized scrapbook tag for your angel(s), please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.*
Our Meredith Helen was born early on October 3, 1974. She was premature as I had started dilating a month before her birth and was on bedrest. The autopsy report stated that she looked like a 32 week baby even though I was 2 weeks or so farther along than that. She was born not breathing, was resuscitated, and had respiratory distress syndrome. At the time, it was called Hyaline Membrane Disease. (President and Mrs. Kennedy had a baby who died from this disease). Meredith lived for three days and my husband and I were thrust into the world of grieving parents who weren't supposed to grieve out loud in the 1970's. I never got to hold her, denied that by my doctors who refused to bring her to me after she died. I was never allowed in the nursery with her. I can understand that I couldn't hold her while she was struggling to live, but why not grant a Mother the wish of holding her child? I don't feel as if I got good medical care and I have my doubts about her care. We were kept in the dark a lot and much of the information I have about her health was gleaned from the autopsy report I ordered two years ago. Through that, I ultimately learned that Meredith died of a stroke. We love her and still miss her. Because of our belief in Jesus Christ, I know we will see her one day. All the events surrounding her brief life and death were a catalyst for a deep depression that I still struggle with today. I do have a peace about her passing now, and that is mostly because of the many babyloss moms I have met on the internet. Their strength, their love, their kindness have helped extremely in my healing.