Friday, June 4, 2010

A Big Thank You to Many Baby Loss Moms

About a year and a half ago, I "met" Holly through her blog, "Caring for Carleigh." At that time, she was carrying to term her precious daughter who had been given a fatal diagnosis. I made some comments and we emailed a few times. Looking back, I don't remember how I found her blog. I noticed that she had a blog list of other mothers who were carrying to term like her, or who had already said goodbye to their baby, and some, even multiple babies. I began to read these other blogs, and began to let go of some of my hurt. I didn't know there was a world of mamas like me in blogland. Following some of their suggestions, I began to heal more and more. Just because Meredith Helen had been born and died in 1974 didn't mean I was "over" it. I gathered my courage and asked for some of the mementoes that mothers were making in honor of their sweet babies. I don't have room to mention everyone here, but one of the first things I received was Lea's Angel Wings, in honor of Nicholas. On October 7, the anniversary of Meredith's funeral and the day my sister Janet Susan was stillborn and buried in 1941, I received a butterfly made in memory of little Ella, from Bree. These things made from paper, glue, ribbon, and feathers soothed my heart immeasurably. There are so many of you who have helped to smooth the hurt of losing a child. I plan to showcase all of Meredith's gifts eventually. Yes, I had other children. Yes, I love them tremendously and thank God for them every day. But the child I never got to hold, the child whose features I never got a chance to memorize, the child that I still honor - she made a huge impact on my heart. Thank you all for helping me, even though you didn't know you were. Thank you, Holly, for the beginning. I also have met regular bloggers who have understood and let me tell my story, and they listened, and in no way could I diminish their importance (thank you Twyla, Kathy, and Nancy, among others.) So, from the depths of my heart, thank you all.





I am drawn quietly to her grave to check on her,

just as if I'd been drawn quietly to her crib.

I trim the grass around her marker,

and dream of trimming the bangs from her forehead.

I place the flowers in her vase

and dream of placing ribbons in her hair.

I hold her memory dear to my heart

as I dream of holding her in my arms.

-Unknown

11 comments:

croleyc69 said...

What a beautiful post. I thank you for being my friend and always leaving me such sweet comments.I know all the reading I have done has helped me a lot.

{{HUGS}}
Caroline

Emily said...

Sarita, sending you many giant squeezy hugs. Thank you for your supportive, kind comments, and just for being a sweet soul that God is using to soothe our hearts. You're very special to me!

Holly said...

Sarita, I am so happy that you have a blog now! :) I remember when you first started coming around to my blog. You have always been a great encouragement to me and I thank you for that!! I always enjoy hearing from you. ♥ I'm so glad you have a space now where you can share about your precious Meredith. I love the whole look of your blog. It's so girly and pretty!!!

Marie W said...

Oh honey. You are a beautiful person and I know Meredith would have been so proud! You're thanking us, but we are thanking you for being there always with an encouraging word, card or gift. WE are so blessed to have found you. {hugs}

Paige said...

I am glad you have a blog now too....and myself just as grateful for this huge blog world where we can connect with people that understand! I think it is especially neat for you that you are finally getting to recognize your precious daughter...I know that a long time ago talking about stillbirths, grieving them..etc., was something most people just didn't do. My mom's first daughter died shortly after birth and I knew nothing about her until about the 8th grade.

Paige said...

oh yes...and thank you for voting...because of your comment you were the winner of the scentsy warmer!!! go to amandamcneelyphoto.com and get the info!!!

Twyla and Lindsey said...

Dearest Sarita, I have never known the pain of loosing a baby although we came close with Lindsey. I know that it is something that you carry with you always. May God bless you for helping others with their grief. I know that you are going to be a great blessing to many. Love, Twyla

kathy said...

I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE STARTED YOUR BLOG. I KNOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HELP SO MANY FAMILIES BY SHARING YOUR PAIN OF LOSING YOUR ANGEL WITH OTHERS. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND GUIDE YOU. THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME. I DON'T TALK ABOUT IT BUT I MISCARRIED TWO TIMES. MAYBE THAT'S WHY I FEEL I HAVE TO DO WHAT I DO. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.

Just Breathe said...

I am so glad that you are here for us to read.
Welcome :) You wrote a beautiful post.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Beautiful post, Sarita...I'm so glad you joined us in blogland.

Once A Mother said...

Sarita, just beautiful. And the words in the poem that you chose, so fitting, poignant, and true. I, too, am so glad you have chosen to join us in blogland.

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