Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I Haven't Forgotten You

Sweet baby girl, I posted about your birthday and I have been kind of in a fog ever since. Why your birthday hit me so hard, I don't know. I guess that is the way depression works - there is no rhyme or reason for the waterfalls of grief that can come pounding over the rocks of our hearts.
For your actual birthday, your twin sisters took us to Commerce, Texas. It is a small east Texas college town. Without the college, there would not be much of a town. It is where Dad and I met at the Baptist Student Union, where he told me that same night that he would be marrying me some day. The same town where we did live after we married, the town where we lived when you were conceived. It is a place I very much connect to you. It's strange, but the town doesn't look much different than it did when I first saw it in 1973. We drove around and looked at the places where we lived, the places where we dined, the stores we frequented, the college buildings where we attended classes. The five & dimes I loved so much were closed down. The movie theater was something else now. We released pink balloons for you and bought ice cream. I saved the receipt as a memento from your birthday. Your sisters and our granddaughter went into a couple of thrift stores to look around and then we left to go back to the metroplex to find an Outback Steakhouse. That is where we ate to help celebrate you. I have to admit that everyone we invited last year to your party was not invited this year. We don't love those people any less but they didn't understand our need to celebrate you. It was a good day, and after that I began to miss you so much - so very much. The days rolled into weeks and then months. Christmas came and I still felt bereft. Then after Christmas, someone hurt my feelings very badly. But I will survive and soon I will begin to feel better. Baby girl, I just wanted to say that I love you so much and miss you.

16 comments:

Shauna said...

Hugs, Sarita! Thinking of you and Sweet Meredith. <3

Maggie said...

(((((HUGS))))))) I'm sorry someone hurt you and it's been hard lately. Sounds like a wonderful way to remember your Meredith and she will always be remembered. Hoping you have better days.

Holly said...

Oh Sarita, I'm so sorry that someone hurt your feelings. ((hug)) I just wish I could wrap my arms around you right now. Thinking of you and Meredith.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am so sorry you got hurt. ((HUGS)) Praying that you can move past this. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Lisette said...

((HUGS)), sorry your feelings were hurt : (

Trennia said...

Sarita, I am sorry that someone hurt you...but keep your head up Jesus and Meredith are smiling down on you.
Your post is beautiful, the way you all celebrated Meredith's birthday.I love the ornaments you made for Hunter,Heather,Emily,Sara,Beth,Joni,Julie and Samuel...thank you so much.I think about you alot and you can email me anytime you need to talk, and if you want I'll give you my phone number...you are a wonderful person and friend.

Christy said...

I cannot imagine who would hurt your feelings. You are such abeautiful, sweet person. Im glad you were able to celebrate merediths birthday. Each year that passes we invite less and less people. They just dont get it. Love to you.

Becky said...

Thinking of you Sarita and sorry to hear someone hurt your feelings:(

Kristin said...

Sending love to you Sarita. I'm so sorry that someone hurt you. I hope that everything will work out okay.

Candice said...

Happy Birthday, Sarita... She must feel so loved by you. So sorry it was a hard day for you, but I'm glad you got to celebrate her.

Trennia said...

Thank you, Sarita for the beautiful Valentine card! Have a Blessed Valentine's Day!

Protector of Vintage said...

So sorry to hear you have been going through a rough patch. I thought perhaps you were ill since the blog had not been updated for awhile. Thoughts and prayers.

Vicki said...

Hello, Sarita,
I am glad you were able to celebrate your daughter's birthday in such a positive way. I would not even pretend to know how it feels to lose a child, but I am thinking about you and praying you will feel better each day. Thank you for stopping by for a visit at Bunny Cottage. Love, Vicki

Trennia said...

I tagged you in 11 random things about me...on my blog if you'd like to play along.

Trennia said...

Sarita,
I miss you.I hope all is well.

Rachel said...

I just wanted to let you know that I received the package you send our family for Samantha. That was so sweet of you. We did move, but the package found its way to our new home. Could you send me an e-mail with your address - rsveteto (at) gmail (dot) com I would really like to send you a thank you note.

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