Thursday, July 1, 2010

Anger, 35+ Years Old

When I started writing this blog about Meredith, I never dreamed that emotions would surround me and bring back so many depressing feelings from 1974. After years of seeing doctors and counselors, I thought any anger I had was in the past. I am naturally a person who is very slow to anger and I just didn't imagine fullblown anger, and even animosity, rising up to knock me down. Well, the tears have flowed and I have been praying hard that I have strength to (finally) fully forgive the doctors and other people involved in the situation that lead to me not being able to hold my darling baby daughter. The thought that I abandoned her and didn't fight harder to be her advocate has bothered me very much. I was at fault myself, too unknowledgable of the world to demand to have her brought to my room.
There is much more to Meredith's story - I just had to step away for a few days. I covet your prayers that I can offer true forgiveness to these persons involved.

We loved her, yes, we loved her,
But Angels loved her more.
And they gently called her
To yonder shining shore.
The golden gates were opened,
A gentle voice said, "Come!"
And with farewells unspoken
She calmly entered home.
- from a Victorian cabinet card


Kristin said...


I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to revisit all of those emotions. I will definitely be praying for you. I hope you have a nice 4th of July weekend :)

Marie W said...

Praying for you Sarita. This road is not easy, but you have so many of us here to help you along, just as you have helped us. Love you lots. {hugs}

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Oh, sweet heart aches with you...I'm so sorry. Praying God's continued comfort and healing for such deep hurts.

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